What do you do?

I got my bartender courses going, it's a shit-load of fun. My life lows in a thousand new directions. But what should I do when something goes worse than the worst scenario of that thing? What would you do?

One song on my mind.

I was amazed!

So today i was searching for music to listen to, and found this band. Never heard nothing like it before. The most amazing music I've heard in my life.

I'm such a bureaucrat

Got fired from my firs post-army job, one day before even starting. Well, that's just dandy! Actually I declined their job offer.

As  was signing the, 40 page, long contract, I've found-out that they require a 5 shift per week employee, for six month. Every month I under-work, I have to pay a fee of 1000 Shekels. Not cool.

I fully understand them. They pay for my gun license and for my "security-guy" certificate. But hey, I'm in employment processes with them for a month, they could have mentioned it earlier. Not my problem that they are retards.

It means: another month with no job. I can survive that. But I would be paying a 6000 Shekel fee, If I haven't the read the fine print. It's good that I'm such a good bureaucrat.

As things go...

Vitaly reporting:

So, little by little, I've killed another week. The only thing happened, was today - I got an infection in my right ear. I guess I could treat that, and steal have the earring, but I'll just give that up. Put some lotions, wash with some oxy-water and the hole will seal itself shut in a meter of 3-4 days.

All I did this week, is getting drunk and stoned. No progress, tho it does reminds me of the good old days of the non-stop drunken marathon, that was a blast from the past.

Tomorrow I start a movie marathon with a friend. All Lord of The Rings, Star Wars and Matrix movies. Quite a way to start a week (for those who ask - "But tomorrow is Sunday?", in the holy land of Israel, our week starts on Sunday).

I've been told countless times, that oversleeping is bad for me, if I oversleep for a week or two, I'll start getting depressed and feel shitty. I'm oversleeping over a month now. Jolly as a roger, healthy as an ox! (the infection was my fault)

Plus, I totally fell in love with these guys (well, 3 guys, and a girl):

Get stoned, listen, enjoy.

Vitaly, out.

... and the most important lesson is:

Lesson 3:
A woman doesn't know what she wants, until she gets it.
A men doesn't know what he wants, until he loses it.


And as a perfectly manly man. I wasn't an exception.

Humus And Virgina

I find myself going out Friday night with a half-full box of cheap humus and a hand rolled cigarette. This is truly unusual. Why, long story, starts with vodka and ends with pork, chips and sausages. Lets see where it takes me. XD

Soul

Have to type this fast, don't mind mistakes.

I woke up 10 minutes ago from the most amazing dream I could even imagine dreaming. It taught me a lot about everything. I can remember everything, but there is one thing I can't recreate. I explain:

In my dream, somehow I found myself at a wedding of my friend. Though I didn't see his bride, everyone seemed to see her, not the point. At the wedding I met a girl, the bride's best friend, she was looking a bit older than me, and had beautiful light brown, tired eyes. She wasn't too friendly, but she was very open minded. 

As things go, we start going out, and she tells me her story - From the moment she turned 13, she wasn't satisfied with her body, and started changing it. Everything from hair color, eye color, skin color, organ length, and gender. After her parents kicked her out, because she went "against the will of god", and 15 years of experiments, she have started a new project, and gave her body the the shape and color of how she estimated it would look at her age (around 28).

She told me that she couldn't finish her "project" alone, and she needs me to help her, because I'm the only person who seems not to have problematic opinions about her past. I found out that the "project", is a perfect artificial body she designed for herself, and she needed help finishing it's build, and transferring her consciousness to the new body. I agreed to help, and we worked on it, night and day. She was assembling the body, and I had to find a way to get her in it.

At a certain moment, I understood that I fell in love with her, but I had a feeling that something about her, is always missing.

We have decided to get married, and promised to each-other to finish the project before the wedding day. We have finished it on the wedding day morning. She took the cover off from her sole-less body, and I had seen it for the first time. It was a weird, 2.5-2.65 meter female body. made form materials I have never seen before. It had many blue beautiful crystals allover it's structure, and had two perfectly round ones for eyes. Colors - it was off-white gray, had some brown areas and some white areas. Didn't seem special to me, seemed to lack something.

I have started the procedure around 3:30-4:00AM, and finished by ~8:30 the same morning. I can't remember all the process (If I could, I'd be the greatest scientist the world ever known), but when she stood up in her full grace, I looked at the "new her", and I understood - Now, nor she lacks something, nor the body. They were perfect together.

She have reached her perfection as a human. The thing that body was lacking was a sole, and the thing she was missing out on is satisfaction about her own self. When I saw it, I fully understood her. All those years she made mistakes, she learned, and constructed flawlessness out of flaws, order out of chaos, grace out of stumbles.

We stood there, and nothing came to mind about the things we want to do after the wedding. We felt like we needed nothing more, like we have everything, like we know everything, we are one.

After the weeding took place, we just laid down, and smiled.

The End.

I remember perfectly, what she looked like in that body, but when I try to sketch it or draw it, it comes out looking, visually, like I dreamed, but it lacks something. It's imperfect.

I feel like the man on "Lost keys/Rosetta stoned" Tool song, but happy.

How Dumb?

I've noticed; I am a very repetitive man. I guess it amuses me. When I start repeating something, after a certain repetitions, people stop being surprised and expect my next action to be the same as the previews one. But, after not being surprised a certain number of times, the begin to be surprised again. Never did a precise count, but I should. It mite come-out funny and productive.


Is it pure psychology, or sheer dumbness? It is sure strange.
Think about it and try it yourself.

Back From The Dead

My PC was dead for about 3-4 days, that was bummer. I gave it to a guy, because it needed some external hardware to fix it. Job well done? No! He installed a bunch of useless software and forgot the important one's. Well, I guess I have to pimp my PC allover, again.

However he did manage to install the video card, I didn't. Hurray for the fat guy!

As I walk through the valley...

So, was in Tel-Aviv yesterday. This was a really shitty day/night. At first it was cool with some bears and people, blow some bowls, eat some apple-pie while stoned. It was about time to go to a party, and some chick I’ve just met, brought some weird shit to smoke, got me shit-faced for about two hours. When this junk finally wore-off, I had to find out that every-one else just disappeared, leaving me to my fate a good amount of hours before my first bus home. That was shitty.

And so I went to the only place I can go when the world fucks me up, my favorite old bar on Abarbanel St. There, I met a nice dude, escorted by two Austrian community working, tourist, Jew stoners. They told me that the party was shitty for them as well, and went over to the bar out of disappointment. When they heard I have that much time to my bus home, they have invited me over, mounted me on a bike, and we got to their place. On the way to the place, they told me about the great bong they have over their place.

While I blew the bowl, the tourist was trying to explain to me how the bong works. I figured it out myself before he finished, dropped-the-choke, and I was there. They told me I’m the first guy they’ve met to blow this bong from the first time and not cough. I was proud.

At least there was a one thing to take pride in about what happened yesterday.

I had nothing to-do today (sounds funny, to- do, to-day)! So I watches some more mind raping episodes of “Invader Zim”. It’s funny, the older you get the more conspiratorial things you notice on this cartoon. This cartoon is so freakishly disturbing, that every single episode, you say to yourself: “What the fuck am I watching? Why am I doing this to myself?” The answer is clear: Because it’s genius!

The only bad thing about it is that you can’t explain what you’ve just seen to anyone who never saw this masterpiece. If you try, at least one of the two heads will explode in to smithereens!

I feel special!

A New Crusade

As ironic as it gets, the only vacancy offered for the likes of me, is to be a gun-toting faggot, giving “worm welcomes” at a block post. Karma or dumb luck? I don’t know for sure. But one thing clear: It didn’t surprise me at all.

They told me to bring a passport picture, ID, demobilization certificate, and an approval from my doctor, that I’m not a homicidal maniac. Too bad all the doctors are on strike.

I got the picture done, a matter of 10 minutes and 25 shekels. It could have taken 9, but I didn’t smile. Fake smiles make me sick, even my own fake smiles. Though I read a research once, that says that our brain can’t tell between the times we fake a smile and the times we don’t. This is why, if you fake a smile long enough, it “sticks” to you. Just look at pedophiles and you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s like our own body and mind, didn’t get used to the emotional life of our society, ever-since we have evolved. I think that they didn’t get used to this, because there is no rational reason to be “fake happy” as a fully functional, reasonable, living creature. I wander, who were the first smile fakers in history, and why? As much as I like to blame things on religion, in this case, I think, these were the merchants and the clerks. Or, at least the merchants (there were no clerks back than).

I can’t say I’m screwed, but this whole coincidence is killing my potential pay-check. But again, I’ll handle it, one way or another.

Day one. Take two!

Two interviews! Two job interviews in one day. One said "No", because I'm a short-term worker. The other said "Probably, yes", because they don't know I'm a short term worker!

Lesson 1:

Don't lie! Just don't say anything potentially jeopardizing.

I also was at the bank. A nice lady with a highly annoying voice told me I can withdraw 440 NIS. And that's what I did. Not much, but better than nothing. I wished her a pleasant week, and left with the money.

Lesson 2:

Be polite to clerks.

It might seem that clerk sit on their fat asses all day long, and do nothing. And that's because they sit on their fat asses all day long, and do nothing! But that little "nothing" makes your life a lot easier. If I had to go back to the recruitment bureau to get paid, I swear I would slit the throat of the first gun-toting faggot giving me a "warm welcome" at the block post.

The day isn't over, yet! More lessons to be learned.

Till than, enjoy life!

Day one?

Well, I, Vitaly Bogdanov, have finally figured out what about is this blog gonna' be. It's really hard pointing the finger on it, but the direction was chosen.

I guess it's gonna' be about progress, my progress. The journey through the entangled jungles of society. I chose the name "Erythrocyte. Another cell in the world wide vein" because I believe that nobody is special, and there is nothing to stop us, but our own beliefs.

Well let's go over this month’s "to-do" list:

-Get a 1 month job (because I have courses next month)

-Start my driving license procedure (22 years old, I'm late to my own parade, better not to be early on my own funeral)

-Get stoned at Kinneret lakeside (tradition)

-Chose what ear earrings to by next month (hard one)

-Download more music (Arrr! I'm a pirate)

I really don't get it, why are there no temporary jobs in this fucken' city?! This whole thing is a one big financial rape! Where are all the luggage boy jobs? Where are all the "putting things on-top of other things" jobs? They really do think that every kid who's gonna' work in McDonald's is considering a career as a fry-cook. Well, I got to find some job, unless I want to find myself doing telephone surveys.

Well, I hope this is a good beginning. Let’s go!

Some Work

I've demobilized about 2 days ago. So I said to myself, "Dude, start a blog and a twitter account". Twitter was too annoing, so I went for the blog.

If you would go through my profile, you could guess that I served in the "Israely Defense Force", and so I did. It was pretty shitty. I don't know about other armies, but in the Israeli one, It's crap.

I guess that the reason is not the army itself, but the Israeli people. These are the most brain-washed rats I have ever seen (after the Americans). Theire whole life if spinning aroun two main ideas:

1) How not to get sucker-punched.

2) How to sucker-punch others.

By the end of the day, they go to bed full of bruises, and mabe a one seccessfull swing.

Every day, I heer them say - "If there is one thing I can't stand, is when someone lies to me!", while the lie to eachother more than they blink. And since they've been told by the media and there favorite rabbi that they are wise and unfoolable, they are afraid to look for the truth. When, by a chance, they find-out that sombody lied to them, they will blindly deny to themselves, than they have been fooled. So if I get it right, These people are slaves to a master that tortures them, and tells them he's not. Well, thats just dandy!

I was inspired by this concept of fighting with reality. You can either accept it and try to make it better, or deny it, and create your own imaginary Candy-Land.

Off-white/ Vitaly Bogdabov

There's no free candy

from this dentist,

and no free checks

unless you floss.

You broke your tooth?

Your jaw 's in pain?

Unless you pay,

You count the loss.

There are no nurses,

only needles,

small pointy hooks

and small round mirrors.

There is the sterile

sturdy smell

of sterile sturdy

dental hell.

A hell that goes

threw countless miles.

A hell to pass,

to fake a smile.