If you go to a club, you notice, that everyone there has the same approach of the method of filling empty cavities of the body (sex). If you go to a bar, they'll have different approaches from the clubers, but all will have the same one, in their own "bar-dwelling" circle. I am not saying that it's wrong, hell no! but it is boring.
You know why? Because they are all "ready"! Say, it's a Friday night, and you are getting ready to hit the bar. You will dress your best (or as you want people to see you), put on you plastic smile, and straighten your back, after a long working week. Why don't you do it on the bus, on your way to work? Say you are having a conversation on the "facebook" chat or the comment section - You hesitate and rethink possibilities, and make a careful argument or comment. Why don't you do it in everyday conversation?
In the club, you try to impress visually, and you did the best you could, therefor, if something goes wrong, it's not your fault. In the bar you try to be funny, charismatic, and interesting. If you ran out of tricks, it's the fault of your conversation partner, that he didn't get the gest. If you are on "facebook", and shit-hits-the-fan, you can bale out of there, like nothing happened. So, basically, people are avoiding taking the blame for their actions, suffering the consequences, and learning a lesson or two in human interaction. But where is it coming from, and why is our generation (Generation X, Y, and forth) is "tits deep" into this shit?
This question is bothering me for years! And I guess that this is one of the main reasons, I like to observe people when they are "not ready". When they wake-up in the morning, lost and grumpy. When they get home, tired from work, is a good example (of course, not on the street! On the street, everyone is on he's best behavior). I know all humans have flaws, and I love some of them, just for that. But in a club, a bar, or on "facebook", everyone is either perfect, or makes-up flaws of hes choice. Everyone is inhuman...
It's sad how all of us want to be loved, but in reality, we do things that make people around us confused, and scared. I'm only 23, but I know that fear and confusion, never bring you any closer to the "happy ending". You need truth and tolerance, patience and forgiving. You need to know how to confess you mistakes, let others help you, and do the same for them. So, back to the question - Where did we fuck-up the whole thing?
Let's take this apart, to boys, and girls:
I'll start with what is closest to me, boys.
Boys
As I grew-up, and until this day, things haven't changed much. Hours of my day are devoted to video-games, and movies. Both of which, usually revolve around action and comedy. I know that movies and games are not a real overview of how human interaction is suppose to work. But on the other hand, I don't know what is. In games and movies, the character i'm suppose identify myself with, is usually too busy shooting guns, and yelling catch-phrases, that the only interaction he has with the girl, by the end of the plot, goes like this:
Boy: I'm sorry blah blah blah. But I blah blah blah. I hope you'll be able to forgive me.
Girl: I understand why you had no time for me, and I forgive you. You had to be a hero, humanity needed you.
*SEX*
...and they lived happily ever after. The End
But in reality, I'm no hero, and I didn't save that girl from the firing maw of a dragon (and even if I did, that doesn't make her emotionally obligated to me, forever and ever). And because drama is rare to find in famous movies, and further, in games. I, as a 23 year old male, have trouble comprehending a steady relationship, or intimacy. I can't blame holywood, for fucking-up my perception of interaction, but I can't blame myself. I mean - I was a kid back then, I had no interest in romance and shit of that sort. Had a lot of time on my hands, and an easily accessible, industrial media all around me, which the sole purpose of it, is to kill time, and make me buy pokemon cards. So, if censorship is illegal, I can only put the blame on the authorities, which were responsible of me, at that age - teachers, and parents. They both had their reasons, but it's not an excuse. Tho, blaming the teachers, is wrong, too, because they've interacted with us, at school. At school we weren't exposed to this media at all. In fact, schools motivate socializing. Thus, the blame is on the parents, who bring children to this world, only due to their sense of obligation to human reproduction, without care for the result (not all parents). We are basically, an "experimental generation, went wrong". And next generations, won't have the same problems, like we have. Because, with time, we are slowly learning to hate those things which fucked-us-up.
That's it, for the boys.
Girls
I never were a girl, but I'm sure I can't blame games and movies here. In-fact, the social dysfunction on the female side, is different. So I need to start this but analyzing the problem, first:
It seems that girls, see us boys, as mystical hairy creatures, who need to fulfill certain roles. The bar is set to high. Why is that?
1. Fathers, usually see their daughters, as defenseless little creatures, that when are grown-up, couldn't, logically, tell right from wrong. And there-for, try to act "perfect", as to set an example of "how a man is suppose to behave". When these girls grow-up, and see the boys behaving, as mentioned above (not like their fathers), they get confused, because we all look like bags of stereotypical shit. Again, blame on the parents.
2. Not like boys, who are taught to get their shit together, and do the best they can, girls are taught to compete with other girls. They see each-other as rivals. Boys are taught to study, and get a nice job. To look their best, to radiate confidence. On the other hand, girls are taught to study, so they could be smart, and impress boys, and to look pretty to get the BEST boys. So, if I were a girl, I'd basically had a reliable friend or two, a hypothetical dream prince that one day will show-up, and a whole lot of enemies! That's a confusing world to live in. And again, the blame is on the parents, who chose not to adopt to the increasingly fast moving progress, and go "old-school" over their daughters.
This is as much as I know about girls (not much), and these are the best conclusions I can come-up with, right now.
So... Have a nice day, and blame your parents!
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